


break and burn and end (begin again)

by twoheadlights (fizzfic)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: (you're welcome), M/M, coffee shop AU, photographer!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 04:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6141886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzfic/pseuds/twoheadlights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for <a href="https://twitter.com/heavydoubts/status/675413321877688320">this</a> prompt!</p><p>where dan is a wedding photographer and phil is the really cute best man who wants to take him out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	break and burn and end (begin again)

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever have a fic not inspired by a taylor swift song?????? Probably Not  
> a little warning!! for mentions of emotional manipulation and kind of semi-toxic relationship but it's just dan reflecting on his past relationship with ~a person~ you should be fine :D  
> this hasnt been beta read, so all mistakes are mine until i can be bothered to correct them. this is a work of fiction, i don't own dan and/or phil, don't let them see this thanks

_Click_.

Dan smiles at the family standing under his lens. Their over-enthusiastic grins turn into somewhat confused ones, bless them. He was going around telling people to look up at his fisheye lens while he stood on a chair. The bride's parents were a bit concerned but she got them to do it in the end.

“These will be the things you remember.” She insisted. Dan likes this particular wedding a lot.

The music playing in the background stays right there, not disturbing the ambience. Everything is white and Dan is pleased with the consistency of it all. The bride, Cornelia, who he's bonded over many artists over, also informed him that her now-husband Martyn was the one who took care of the theme.

He sees Pj, his partner for the day and his best friend, taking candids of the little groups of aunts and uncles. Cornelia excuses herself to go find Martyn and their friends. Dan decides to shadow her and take pictures.

He loves his job. _Stories_ , a wedding cinema and photography company, for whom he's worked for since he was nineteen. He's twenty four now and he's attended hundreds of weddings all around the world. He loves everything about it — the locations, how much people like having their picture taken, capturing moments that people probably want photographed but don't ask. He especially loves candids, because when people don't know a camera is pointed at them, when they're not self-conscious; that's when they look their best (Dan does make sure they're not making derpy faces in the candids, of course).

So he walks a little behind Cornelia, changing his lens into a normal one, where she joins Martyn – a tall guy, almost as tall as Dan, with squinty eyes and a big smile – and the best man, Martyn’s brother. Dan had had a glimpse of him a little while before at lunch, but Peej was helping with that so he couldn't meet him.

The best man is quite something. He and Martyn do look a little related, except this one’s hair is black, not ginger (although it _is_ unnaturally black so Dan reckons he dyes it). He has blue eyes and a very friendly smile. His face is so angular Dan would probably cut his finger if he stroked his jaw. And – okay, he feels like it's necessary to mention – he's _fit_. Even without pointing his camera at the guy, Dan knows he’s photogenic.

He laughs and Dan’s stomach flips. He quickly lifts his camera up to his eye and clicks a picture. The preview on his screen shows the grins of the bride, groom and best man frozen and beautiful. He takes a few more, this time focusing on each of them, his lens lingering a bit longer on the best man.

Thinking that he’s probably reaching the point of stalking (even though this is his _job_ ), he turns away and spots a few guests on the dance floor to take pictures of. Pj joins him and shows him a shot she took during the first dance of Martyn’s parents and brother smiling at him and Cornelia.

“Phil looks so good,” he says, nodding approvingly.

Dan’s ear perks up. “Phil?”

“Mhm. The best man. Have you not talked to him?”

He shakes his head. Phil. Phil, Phil, Phil. Cool. He has a name now, at least.

“You should go talk to him.”

Dan swallows. “Yeah. Okay, I'll—I’ll do that and try not to make a complete _fool_ of myself.”

Pj rolls his eyes and pushes him slightly. “Go on. You've been making eyes at him this whole time and I'm sure there's more pictures of him in your camera than the bride.”

“No there isn't!” Dan protests. _I hope_ , he quietly adds in his head.

He still starts walking across the room to where Phil is stood now, drinking his cocktail. _Just start with a hi_ , he thinks. That's all—

“Hey!”

The over cheeriness in Phil's tone catches Dan off guard. That's something he's not used to directed at him. From past experience, he likes brooders.

He smiles hesitantly at Phil and goes to stand across him. “Hello.” He says, annoyed that his voice has gone soft. He's just a _guy_.

“I saw you taking pictures away from us.” Phil says. “Thought it was a bit rude to split you two when your friend has a separation problem.” His gaze turns to where Pj is, playing around with his lens.

Dan looks at Phil confused. “I don't–what?”

Phil chuckles. “He was talking about you the whole time he took pictures of us. It was ‘Dan this’ and ‘Dan that’. Good friend.”

Dan flushes. “Oh, well, I - that’s unexpected.” He frowns at Pj, who suddenly looks his way and grins cheekily at him. It all clicks into place. _Fuck’s sake_.

“Oh God.” Dan groans, rubbing his forehead.

“What?” Phil asks bemusedly.

“Nothing.” Dan answers quickly. “Pj just...he does that thing where he talks behind my back, except it’s nice things? You know? I can’t explain, I’m sorry, I have to go -” He turns away, not even looking at Phil, feeling his face heat up and he wants to slap himself for even thinking talking to him was a good idea. But the thing is, he hasn’t done this for about eight months. Talked to someone he liked, that is. In the back of his head, he still hears the voice going, _nah, that isn’t going to turn any heads, you really need to work harder on yourself. You look like an old man, are you sure you’re twenty four?_ And that light laugh that wasn’t aware that it had just hurt Dan’s feelings because all he wanted was approval of some sort.

Anyway.

“Wait!”

Dan turns and Phil has his arm out as if he’d gone to grab his shoulder but he was too late. “I -” He stops, as if thinking of what to say. “Are you here tomorrow? Because Paris is known for its really good cafes, I was thinking of sampling a few cupcakes? Would you like to join me?”

Does he? It’s been a while, and everyone’s always on him about it being a while. He could just go, forget about the past, wear what he likes because Phil doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would make a comment. He wouldn’t make a face at Dan stuffing himself with pastry. Probably.

He smiles sadly. “I can’t, I’m going to be working tomorrow.” He says. “Gotta go through the thousands of pictures I’ve taken in here.” He gestures to his camera around his neck. “I really am sorry.” He turns away and walks away before Phil can argue this time.

Not ready, then. Okay.

“So?” Pj asks expectantly when he walks to him.

“Don’t _ever_ do that.” Dan replies. He doesn’t sound pleading. He’s a bit tired suddenly.

-

Their bosses (two brothers named Joseph and Joshua - cheeky little buggers, but they pay well) make Dan and Pj work on the Lester wedding only two days later so they’re in Paris, one of the most photogenic cities in the entire world and they’re bent over their laptops, editing and compiling pictures in a dark room.

“Let’s just post them all.” Dan says, running his hands through his hair. “They look fine.”

“They look fine because you just scrolled past them all really quickly.” Pj replies. “But I _am_ craving a bit of Parisian culture.”

“There he is! C’mon, just pick fifty random ones and we’ll go.”

They divide it into twenty five each and Dan spends five minutes picking them out. He stops to look at Phil, the best man, who makes every picture seem brighter with his laugh which Dan can hear in his mind. There’s one with his head thrown back and he’s covered his big smile but Dan knows his tongue is slightly sticking out and his heart aches a bit at that. Which is ridiculous? He’s being silly; he shakes his head and chooses that picture as his last one.

“It’s over!” Peej exclaims, clicking ‘Post’ and grinning at Dan. “Now let’s go be obnoxious tourists like we always do.”

-

It happens about a week later. He’s back in London and at the office, editing a video for a Mauritius wedding when Ryan from cinematography comes to him with the telephone. 

“It’s for you, some guy.” He says carefully. Dan knows there’ll be talks of this no matter what Ryan hears. He takes the receiver, not knowing what to expect.

“Hi!” A bright voice greets him. “It’s Phil, you know, from -”

“The Paris wedding.” Dan interrupts. “Yeah, I remember.” His heart is suddenly beating faster. He couldn’t actually forget.

“Yeah! I just called in to say that my family _loved_ the pictures you and your friend took for Martyn’s wedding.”

“Oh, thank you.” He answers automatically. He doesn’t think anyone had ever called personally to tell them that. Maybe sent nice presents but other than that.

Someone at Phil’s end shouts something from behind him and Phil laughs and it sounds like he hits them with something. “Shut up,” he tells them, before directing to Dan, “um so yeah. I just wanted to tell you that.”

“Oh, oh, great, that’s awfully nice of you -”

“Also, can we have coffee tomorrow?”

“What?”

“Well - Martyn!”

It seems the phone had been snatched from Phil because the next voice Dan hears isn’t his. “Okay, Dan, listen. My brother sucks at asking people out, sorry about that.” Martyn says. “Basically. We couldn’t help but notice that a lot of the pictures _you_ took included Phil in them. And they were _very_ nice pictures. Mum wants that single shot of him hung up next to the wedding picture.” He pauses to chuckle. Dan doesn’t really know what to say so he continues to shut up and listen. This is _very_ unusual.

“So yeah. That’s your back story. Now, _please_ go out with Phil. He’s been pining after you, I wish I was exaggerating but realistically, he stole your company’s card from me when we got back and has been trying to pluck up the courage to call you for a week.”

“Martyn, for fuck’s sake -” Phil says from behind, but he doesn’t hear the rest.

Dan bites his lip and closes his eyes. In his mind, he can hear faint voices asking him how his love life is holding up, if he’s alright since…

“Tell him to text me the place and time.”

“PHIL, HE SAID YES!”

-

Dan takes a deep breath. His reflection blinks back at him and he’s suddenly unsure. He’s wearing his favourite shirt, hoping he isn’t overdressed. It’s just a cafe, they’re going to have coffee, talk about things (that was how Phil tried to sell the date to him. It was a hard bargain to pass up).

 _You look so tall in those boots. Makes you taller than you already are._ The expression on his face is so clear in Dan’s head. He looks down at his boots and frowns. No. He’s going to wear them. Phil wouldn’t say anything.

He looks at the text Phil had sent him, the first one with the address of the cafe. It’s about a fifteen minute drive away from him so he quickly shuffles out of his flat, puts his headphones in and plays a song at random. The lyrics wash over him and again, he can hear an annoyed, _this is so pretentious like, the words don’t even make sense_. He used to lower the volume at that.

He turns the song up until it consumes him completely.

-

The cafe is really pretty. It’s not Paris, but it’s nice. Dan can tell already that the ambience will calm him. His hand is slightly shaking as he opens the door. He’s not expecting Phil to be there yet, maybe he’d stall, make a grand entrance, apologise quickly for being late, and get on like nothing happened and Dan would bury his hurt under everything else again…

“Dan! Over here!”

He looks over at a table in the corner where Phil is sat, waving at him. He gets up and walks over to Dan who’s already speeding through the other tables to get to him. “You found it,” Phil says, smiling at him. Once Dan reaches him, he puts a hand on the small of his back - making Dan gulp - and leads him to their table.

Phil holds back the chair for Dan to sit, and it doesn’t even seem ironic. He smiles genuinely at him, like he can’t believe Dan actually agreed to go out with him like this. “You look so nice.” He says, nodding. “I like your shirt.”

Dan goes red, he can feel it. He gives Phil a small smile and says thank you. He wants to return the compliment because Phil  _ does _ look nice. He’s wearing a light denim jacket over a t-shirt and it’s so simple against Dan’s semi-dressed up look but it works. They still somehow work.

They order their coffees and food to go along with it and the conversations don’t end from there on. Phil has a question and an answer for  _ everything _ . He asks about Dan’s life like he’s this interesting book that’s been encoded except Dan tells him everything easily. He calms down as the minutes pass by.

“You have your camera with you.” Phil notes.

“Oh yeah.” Dan says, taking it out. “It’s my analog camera though. Nicer pictures.” He shrugs and holds it up to his eye.

“ _ Noooo _ .” Phil laughs, hand covering his smile like he does as Dan clicks the picture. “You’ve just wasted film on me not being ready for that.”

“You’re good at being candid.” Dan tells him. “Thought you knew that from the wedding pictures.”

They haven’t talked about those yet. How literally  _ all _ of Dan’s pictures (all of them - he checked later) included Phil in them.

“Well,” Phil flips his fringe out of his face and laughs again, throwing his head back this time. His neck is long and pretty and Dan never thought in his life he would find a neck pretty. He’s a changed man.

They haven’t touched upon the past and it’s a nagging thought at the back of Dan’s head - he’s waiting for the,  _ so tell me about your exes _ and how either he’ll close up entirely or end up spilling everything after eight months of radio silence about the break up. The last of at least ten. The last straw, if you want. But Phil doesn’t want to know. He asks about Dan’s brother, school, Pj, how he started his job, whether he’s always loved photography, how English is literally just lots of other languages mixed up and changed around, but no mention of previous relationships.

He must  _ really _ like him.

-

“We’ve been here for more than an hour!” Phil exclaims. “And you’ve taken at least four pictures of me doing almost exactly the same thing.” He adds, in a mock-scolding tone.

“Stop complaining, you love it.” Dan retorts. “So, do you want to leave?”

“I guess, if you want to? We could walk to your car if you’re afraid of feeling lonely.” Phil smirks.

“Shut up.” He’s not against the suggestion though.

They walk out and Dan feels like there’s some kind of spotlight on them. He feels a familiar sensation as the back of his hand brushes against Phil’s. He didn’t think it was possible for him to feel it again and wonders if it was someone else, would it have happened? Probably not. He likes Phil. He really, really does. He should know what he’s signing up to though.

“Phil, I -”

“Jurassic World.”

“What?”

Phil laughs. “Sorry, I just remembered. That’s what our family watched last Christmas.”

“Oh.” Dan bites his lip to stop his inevitable fond smile. The Lesters are so interesting. “That's...unseasonal.”

“Tradition. No Christmas films on the day. It’s strange but it’s us.” He shrugs.

It’s not good but Dan imagines himself under Phil’s arm on a sofa with his parents, Martyn and Cornelia watching something like Star Wars on Christmas Day and how  _ easy _ it looks. They’d be so comfortable and  _ them _ .

They reach Dan’s car and stop and he doesn’t want to leave yet.

“You were saying something before I rudely interrupted.” Phil says.

Oh yeah. Dan smiles at him. He shakes his head. “Not important. I’ll see you again, right?”

Phil’s face brightens up. “Yeah, of course! Just give me a call, I’ll be at your side before you know it.”

That’s good to know. Comforting. As Dan drives away, he can see Phil in the reflection of his rearview mirror, getting smaller and farther but he knows something’s going on here and he can’t wait to begin again with him. 

**Author's Note:**

> read and reblog on [tumblr!](http://phanwich.tumblr.com/post/140290081175/break-and-burn-and-end-begin-again)


End file.
